Tardigrade (Unknown Company)

Review and images by Fembrogon; edited by bmathison1972

There probably aren’t many invertebrates – especially outside of arthropods like insects and spiders – which could be considered legitimately “famous” on one level or another, compared to the broader popularity of backboned animals. One exception among invertebrates is the tardigrade, a microscopic ten-limbed oddity that sits in a group of its own, distinct from other animals. Tardigrades (or “slow steppers”) were originally described as “water bears” due to their (slight) resemblance to real bears when in motion; these two names can be used interchangeably for the animals, as well as the even quirkier and dare-I-say cuter nickname “moss piglets”. Moreso than their superficially mammalian resemblances, however, tardigrades claim their fame due to their extraordinary resilience: when their environment dries out or reaches uncomfortable temperatures, tardigrades shift their bodies into a hibernative state known as a tun. While in a tun, tardigrades can withstand exposure to a range of temperatures and environmental hazards that would easily kill us humans, and probably a wide range of other animals. Tardigrades aren’t indestructible, but by our naked primate standards they probably might as well be!

There aren’t a whole lot of tardigrade toys on the market, but a few odd figures and gimmicky items have been produced here and there. One of the more prolific items I’ve stumbled upon as of this writing is also the subject of my review: a mid-sized plush toy hailing from an anonymous company/factory chain of Chinese origin. Depending on the website, these plushies may appear under multiple different brand names (TAMMYFLYFLY, MinLia, BYBYCD), if any names at all; but the overall build of this toy appears the same. This tardigrade plush is probably best described as a generic tardigrade – there are thousands of tardigrade species known, and somehow I doubt the designers were aiming to emulate one particular species. The plush measures almost exactly 23 cm (9 in) long from end to end. Since most tardigrades are less than a millimeter long in real life, this plush is positively daikaiju-sized in relative scale; but it’s a satisfactory size for buyers wanting a critter they can hold in one or both hands.

The toy is firmly stuffed but pleasantly squishy, lacking any bean or pellet–styled filling. The outer coating of material is a solid hue of light tan, which is silky and smooth to the touch. Seam lines run neatly between limbs and body segments, with prominent cross-stitching running laterally down the body to emphasize the four primary body segments. The tardigrade’s strange, cylindrical mouth part – nestled in the center of a head shaped like a doughnut ring – attaches to the back of the head with just enough extra fabric for the mouth to extend about a centimeter or more. It’s a minor gimmick, but I have found it surprisingly entertaining to fiddle with. A black-and-white sticker secured on the front of the mouth represents the stylets, or piercing structures used for feeding on plants or even tinier organisms. Some tardigrades are actually known to have minuscule eyes, but none are evident on this plush toy. Four pairs of stubby legs end in three-toed flat feet (simplified from the four to ten toes seen in live species), which are constructed of a thicker fabric and splay out to the sides.

This stuffed toy is no scientific model, but it is unmistakably a macro-size water bear for those who know what they’re looking at. Although the original manufacturer remains anonymous, their tardigrade plush is a delightful addition to the collection of any fan of weird animals and quirky critter toys. You can find this plush sold on Amazon, eBay, and AliExpress for a range of reasonable prices.