Saltwater Crocodile, ‘Fiona’ (G.I. Joe: Classified Series by Hasbro)

Review and images by Fembrogon; edited by bmathison1972

G.I. Joe is not a franchise I have any prior affiliation with or affection for; it just never crossed my radar in any meaningful way growing up. Show me a big, articulated reptile toy, however, and I will gladly offer any merchandise brand a moment of my time. Hasbro has recently been releasing a premium line titled “G.I. Joe: Classified Series”, which features premium articulated versions of classic characters from the G.I. Joe brand. Number 38 in the series, released in late 2022, was the Cobra villain Croc Master and his pet, Fiona. Croc Master is, from what I can tell, not one of the most iconic members of the franchise’s rogues gallery, although he has made a few appearances in the comics and came close to being featured in the classic cartoon TV series.

Croc Master, of course, is a human character and not the subject of interest for this review – that would be Fiona, his beloved pet crocodile. Croc Master’s original 1987 toy set included a reptile more reminiscent of an alligator than a croc, and a cursory review of his comic origins indicates alligators are a recurring motif for the character. Fiona is no gator, however; Fiona is a genuine Crocodylus porosus, the saltwater crocodile of Australia and Southeast Asia. Apart from the obvious triangular snout and visible bottom teeth when the jaws are closed – elementary steps for distinguishing crocs from gators & caimans – the robustness of her jaws, the size and orientation of the squamosals (the ear-like skull part behind the eyes), and most importantly the lack of postoccipital scutes located behind the head of most crocodiles (leaving the patch of 6 nuchal osteoderms looking isolated in the middle of the neck) indicate Fiona’s correct species as a “saltie”, the largest crocodile alive today, as well as one of the largest reptiles on the planet.

Fiona measures 31 cm (12.25 in) long, which would put her near 1:10 scale for a 3-meter (10-foot) live female. Adult male salties can reach 6 meters in length and occasionally even larger, but 3 meters is the upper end of the average for females. The 1:10 scale also seems to line up well with Croc Master himself, provided he represents a 1.7-meter average human male (I couldn’t find precise stats for his character’s measurements). Fiona is made of a few different materials; she is primarily hard plastic, but the feet and the underbelly are softer in consistency, allowing one to actually squish the tummy for a “lifelike” effect. The tail is made of a rubbery material for the sake of flexibility.

Detailing of the sculpt is most impressive, capturing all the scaly armored details which give crocodiles their prehistorically formidable image. Not a single centimeter has been disregarded from the nose to the tail. The cracked skin on the face smoothly translates to pebbled scales along the neck and shoulders, before transitioning to larger, rectangular scales on the flanks and limbs, plus the signature rows of keeled osteoderms across the back (six primary rows in total, and a few more erratic rows along the sides). Underneath the figure, there are full rows of grid-like rectangular scales extending from the throat all the way down to the end of the tail; no two scales are quite alike, and there are noticeable shifts in size and concentration following the length of the body. Even the undersides of the feet are fully detailed in fine rows of adjacent scales, with creases and folds in the soles and fingers. Similar crease lines and stretch marks can be found elsewhere on the body, such as over the hips and the back of the neck, bringing a convincing depiction of the animal’s anatomy and physiology. Other fine details include scars cut into the scales across the body, hints of scales and grooved textures inside the mouth, sockets for the lower front teeth to insert into the upper jaw, the distinctive ridges in front of the eyes, and even a pair of “pores” at the tip of the snout past the nostrils, which are uniquely(?) present among salties. Hasbro brought their A-game to this sculpt.

Paint applications are less impressive for the figure, but nonetheless satisfactory. Fiona is countershaded with dark forest green on top and dull lime underneath, reflecting the coloration seen in live salties (albeit a little simplistically). Some irregularities to the counter line along the body and especially the tail keep the pattern looking natural and organic. Fiona’s beady eyes are neatly painted a more saturated lime green, with fine slit pupils that make the figure feel alive. The mouth is a little less consistent, featuring two shades of pink between the separate mold parts. While a dark wash across the figure or some extra mottling on the scales would have made the figure pop even more, overall the color choices serve their purpose well enough.

Being an action figure, Fiona has a total of 12 articulation joints, which offers a pretty nice range of motion. The mouth opens via the top of the skull; the range is wide and the articulation is perfectly fluid, closing completely flush with the teeth of both jaws interlocking naturally. The neck and the shoulder region each have a dumbbell ball joint, allowing Fiona to twist her head and forelimbs around probably 60-70 degrees all around. The forelimbs themselves primarily articulate via swivel/hinge joints, one at the shoulder and one in the wrist. The hind feet also use swivel/hinges, but the hips use ball joints instead, so the range of motion is similar, but not quite alike between the limb pairs. The tail has another ball joint at the base, and there is a bendable wire for a little extra nuance in poseability. While this isn’t on the level of a Bandai action figure or a Creative Beast dinosaur, Fiona has a very satisfying range of motion and is a lot of fun to handle. This also feels like a fairly sturdy toy, so the 8+ age range should be able to throw around this croc without much worry of damage.

While the Croc Master set’s accessories mostly cater to Croc Master himself, Fiona gets some accessories all of her own in the form of a pair of crocodile babies, each just under 4.5 cm (2.75 in) long. One baby is countershaded in green like its mother, while the other is an unusual albino-white with red eyes. The two minifigures are rubbery in texture, but not articulated, with paint apps reasonably well-applied to their eyes and teeth. Scale texturing is quite impressive on these tiny crocs, and they display extremely well with their mother.

Whether you take or leave Croc Master and the Cobra organization, Fiona the crocodile is a truly great action figure that offers a fine representation of the planet’s most formidable living reptile. I highly recommend this figure for any croc fans and reptile collectors young and old. You can find Fiona through various retailers and listings (full set or separated) on Amazon, eBay, and other action figure stores for reasonable prices at the time of this writing.